


Trigger

by Kendrene



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alpha Kara Danvers, F/F, Fuck Or Die, Human Lena Luthor, Lena says mean things she doesn't really mean, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:14:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22972342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kendrene/pseuds/Kendrene
Summary: “The symptoms… that would mean…”“What would it mean, Kara?” Lena is sure Alex already knows the answer to all of this. Or, at the very least, has a solid inkling of what is going on. She must have preferred Kara get to her own conclusions, without influencing her mind.“She’s in heat.” A weird expression crosses Kara’s face, a mix of hunger and guilt. “Lena’s in heat.”ORWhen Kara's proximity starts to affect Lena, there's only one solution. Which would be the obvious, easy choice - if they were on talking terms.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 36
Kudos: 1672





	Trigger

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another smutty endeavor! Enjoy! 
> 
> A/N: sorry I had an issue and had to repost.
> 
> \- Dren

They don’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late, and when they do, the aftermath can be likened to that of an explosion.

Literally. 

Lena sits on her couch, the feed from the security cameras at L-Corp playing on her tablet in a loop when Kara bursts in through the living room French windows, unannounced.

It’s by sheer luck that the city is caught on the smudged edge that separates the warm nights of late spring and sweltering summer - the weather too fair to keep the windows closed, and not hot enough for air conditioning.

A damnable perfect balance of circumstances.

And it’s equally lucky that Lena likes to sit with the windows open at this time of year to let the smells of the nearby park and the distant sound of traffic into the penthouse. Otherwise there’d be even more debris she’d have to deal with.

“Lena!” Kara flies to a stop in front of her, cape fluttering wildly around her frame. “You’re alright!” 

“Of course I am,” Lena says with a mild sigh, electing not to stand. She sets the tablet to the side, irritated by the interruption. In her head, she’d been calculating damages, trying to guess how many days it’d take for the office to be functional and usable again. Far too many for her liking seems like an educated guess. 

“But- but the bomb. I was on the other side of town when I heard it go off, and I thought…” Kara clutches the edge of her cape between trembling fingers and twists it as she speaks. She’s not quite meeting Lena’s gaze, aware that by being here she’s infringing on Lena’s express desire to be left alone. 

“I had a headache and left early.” Another lucky circumstance added to her tally. “And that floor was empty when the bomb went off. Nobody got hurt.” 

But somebody is going to get fired the next day. Her Chief of Security, to name one.

“I just- I wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt. I-” 

“You can listen to people’s heartbeats, Kara,” Lena cuts her off, brutally honest. “I’m sure you could have figured that out without flying all the way here.” 

“Yes, but-” Kara is looking at her now, and the blue of her eyes is about to overflow. Lena prays she won’t start crying. She’s ill equipped to deal with that, especially tonight. 

“Is this all you came for?” She raises an eyebrow. “Because, as I’m sure you can ascertain, I’m fine. But I still have a lot of work to do, and I’m sure the police will be by soon, and I’d _really_ like to get a few hours of sleep at some point tonight.”

“Maybe I should hang around until they get here?” Kara offers tentatively. “I can keep watch outside, and I’ll be quiet. You won’t even know I’m there.” She’s wrong on that account - as of late, Lena always, _somehow_ , knows when Kara is around. 

“There’s a security detail on the roof, and more guards at the front door - which you’d know if you’d bothered to check. I’ll be fine.” Lena finally stands, shaking her head. “I’d like you to go now, Kara. Please.” 

“You mean you don’t want to talk about this? Because I think we should.” 

“About what?” 

“About the fact you could have been killed!” Kara presses on, shifting a little closer. She sounds exasperated now, and Lena is a bit ashamed by the gleeful thrill shooting down her spine. 

“And?” She recovers her tablet and flips through her emails in a display of cool disinterest. “Your point?”

Lena and Death are well acquainted. One could call them friends. She’s been held at gunpoint. She’s been shot. She’s been beaten senseless by her brother’s goons, and she’s been stabbed. She’s been poisoned. She’s lived through plenty of near misses.

This one barely cracks the top ten. 

“My point is you _literally_ almost died! You must be feeling something!”

“Yes, in fact I do,” Lena concedes, pinching the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger to hold her returning headache at bay. “I feel like you’re not listening to me.” 

“Lena-” 

“I want you to go, Kara,” Lena interrupts, temper considerably shortened. “You can go on your own-” she drops her gaze back to the tablet - and the draft of the statement her PR manager just sent her, “or I can have you escorted out.” 

Kara recoils as if slapped, and there’s a part of Lena that clamors for her to take back her words. She forces herself to remain still, and throttles it until it’s rendered dead.

“You wouldn’t.” Kara stares at her like she’s really seeing her for the first time. 

_Get used to it_ \- Lena wants to scream in her shocked face. Used to the Lena Luthor she’d tried so hard not to give into, the one everyone must have warned Kara about. Doing good got Lena nothing, so why try any more? 

“Lena, this isn’t you. This-” 

Laughter bleeds from Lena’s mouth, tasting of ashes. She feels hollowed from within, spooned out by an uncaring hand and so, so very tired. 

“Try me.” 

“Lena-” 

“I’m going to start counting, and trust me, you better be gone by the time I reach three.” 

“Lena, please-” Kara wrings her hands together, helplessly.

“One.”

“Lena, if we could just-” 

“Two.”

“Lena, please. I lo-” 

Her traitorous, undeserving heart stutters to a standstill, gripped both by hope and crippling pain. Lena can’t listen to this. She _won’t_.

She has to bite into her tongue to keep from laying her own terrible secret at Kara’s feet.

“Thhhhrrr-” 

“Okay, okay! Fine!” Kara seems to fold inward. She hangs her head, and her shoulders slump forward in defeat. “I’m going.” 

She announces the fact to no one in particular, and turns, making for the open window. 

“Not that way.” Lena halts her in her tracks, glacial and uncompromising. “Through the door.” 

Kara blinks, and it’s clear from the blank look in her eyes she hasn’t really processed the words. The moment they click home inside her head, her eyes harden to match Lena’s unflinching stare. 

“I don’t think-” 

“You came to me as Supergirl.” Lena tapes her heart closed with a false smile. “You’ll leave as Kara Danvers.” 

“But…”

“It shouldn’t be too much of an effort for you, _Kara_. You wear the lie so well.” 

Kara looks at her for a long moment, face unreadable, before recovering her glasses from a hidden pocket of the suit and perching them precariously on her nose. 

Lena makes herself watch as the new suit Brainy developed slowly fades away to reveal the Kara-clothes Supergirl is wearing underneath. The crest of the House of El is the part that lingers longest, but soon that, too, is gone, and Lena is left facing the lie she fell in love with so many months ago. 

She pulls her gaze away before it has the chance to blur with tears, wishing all the while that the bomb had done its job and ripped her into pieces.

Busying herself with the PR team’s empty platitudes is the hardest thing Lena has ever done, but she powers through the act, and after a good amount of shuffling, the front door of the apartment is pulled open with a _click_.

Time stills after that, but everything happens all at once. 

One moment Lena is standing, iPad in her hands, her back to the door. The next she cannot breathe, her lungs filled to the brim with lead. Violent shudders run through her entire body, and an ungentle force pries her fingers open one by one, the tablet crashing to the floor. 

She is vaguely aware of Kara rushing to her side, and calling her name. Her fearful, concerned face hovers above Lena’s, and Kara’s body matches her trajectory, cushioning her fall.

Because Lena _is_ falling, and strangely aware of it. She feels her body shift, but discovers she is powerless to stop it. 

She can only lie in Kara’s arms and stare up stupidly at her, darkness creeping at the edges of her vision.

Her luck, it seems, has finally run out. 

******************

Kara is lying on top of her.

Kara is lying on top of her, and her hands are _absolutely_ everywhere. On Lena’s sweat-slicked shoulders, on her breasts, kneading the flesh there until it bears her fingermarks, twisting at her stiffened nipples til Lena’s back is arching off the bed.

Kara is lying on top of her with her brows truncated in concentration, and her tongue held between her teeth. Her eyes are the darkest blue Lena’s ever seen them, and their hips smack rhythmically together in a sound that’s filthy wet and _hot as hell_.

Kara is on top of her, pinning her down, and fucking her _brains_ out.

Her hands find final purchase around Lena’s thighs and push them wide apart, rough and demanding. She’s huffing, growling in Lena’s ear, her breath painting bold strokes across her cheek. She’s full and thick inside her cunt, and as her weight sinks Lena further into the bed, her _cock_ gives a vicious throb, erupting in thick, endless spurts inside her.

Lena screams, jarred down to her bones by the sensation, but Kara’s hips don’t stop. The pace she sets is punishing, and she grabs at Lena tightly, seemingly intent to rip more orgasms out of her. 

Bending low atop her body, Kara brings them nose to nose, and her lips part, perhaps in a moan, maybe to tell Lena all the dirty things she plans to do to her. A thrill of guilty pleasure flits through her at the prospect, but what exits Kara’s mouth is an incongruous series of loud beeps.

Lena tries to cling to what is happening, to the reassuring feeling of Kara’s body tensing and moving against her own, but she is hurled away and comes again - but comes awake. 

“So what’s happening to her?” 

Kara’s voice drifts to her ears. She sounds scared, nerve-wracked almost. 

“I haven’t the faintest idea.” 

The dream still lingers potent in Lena’s mind, and it takes her several minutes to connect the second voice to Alex. It takes her even longer to make sense of her surroundings, and fight down the feeling of regret stuck like a fishbone in her throat. 

The bed beneath her body is sturdy, but not really comfortable; the kind Lena connects to the week she spent in an expensive private clinic at sixteen with a broken leg caused by a fall from horseback. 

That bed had been sturdy, too, but despite the pile of blankets the nurses had procured, it lacked warmth. This one is much the same, and she wants out. 

“None?” Kara’s tone has climbed several octaves. “But-” 

“I know her symptoms, Kara.” Alex’s words hold the restrained sort of patience of someone who’s repeated the same thing far too many times. “Seizures, high fever, sweating, abnormal heart rate and blood pressure.” 

Lena has the distinct feeling Alex is ticking each new symptom off the fingers of her hand. 

“Most of these would lead to neuroleptic malignant syndrome, but I’ve accessed Lena’s medical records, and she’s not on any medication that could cause this.”

“Wait, the D.E.O. can do that?” 

Wait, Alex can do _what_? Lena doesn’t like it, not one bit. Is there anything else that Alex - and the D.E.O. - have access to?

“But she could have been poisoned.” Kara is obviously racking her brain for an explanation. “Maybe the bomb was a decoy.” 

“We’ve done extensive testing for every catalogued man-made poison.” Lena cracks one eye open, just in time to watch Kara open her mouth for a counterargument. “Alien-made, too.” Kara’s teeth click shut, and she glares, watching Alex sift through what looks like Lena’s medical chart.

“There must be _something_ ,” she mutters, mostly to herself, when the silence stretches too long for her to bear. Lena’s never seen her so distraught, so beside herself with fear. This, whatever it is, must be pretty bad. 

Then again, she feels like complete shit. 

“I never said there wasn’t.” Alex selects a particular piece of paper and shakes it under Kara’s nose. “Just that I don’t know the causes.”

“And you couldn’t have mentioned that a little sooner?” 

Despondent, Kara crosses her arms over her chest. Lena finds she shares the sentiment, and almost says as much before remembering they haven’t noticed she’s awake. She’ll wait a little more, see what Alex has to say. In her experience, doctors tend to obfuscate when talking to their patient, and for once in her lifetime, she would like the unadulterated truth.

“So,” Kara is saying, eyes narrowed to blue chips of ice. “Let me rephrase. What _have_ you found?” 

Without speaking, Alex thrusts the sheet of paper into her hands. 

“What do you make of this?” she asks, instead of answering directly. 

“Wh-” 

Kara’s brows furrow slightly, then knit, and Lena stares as she reads through the document, inhumanly fast. Her eyes grow bigger and bigger as she goes, showing the white, and fill with disbelief. 

“This is... _No_.” Her face does a funny thing. It’s like watching her go through the five stages of grief in that many seconds. “This can’t be right. The lab must have fucked up.” 

“The lab didn’t run these tests. I did. Three times,” Alex counters coldly, implying there was no room for a mistake. “So? What do you make of the results?” 

“The blood, it has Kryptonian markers. But this is Lena’s bloodwork, so that’s not possible. Unless-” Kara lowers the paper with a stricken look. “No. It can’t be.” She shakes her head vehemently, fingers subconsciously tearing at the edges of the paperwork. Alex says nothing, but the way she leans forward ever so slightly is the only tell Lena needs to know she’s up to something. 

“It’s not supposed to have an effect on humans. And anyway, I’ve always made sure to take my blockers!” Kara is frantic now, bordering on panic. “Alex, I swear-!” 

“What isn’t supposed to affect humans?” Alex prods, appearing unperturbed. 

“My presence! Me, being an alpha!” Kara explodes suddenly, throwing her hands up in frustration. “I don’t understand this, Alex.” Her words acquire a pleading sort of quality. “There were writings about this in the archives, back on Krypton. Of alphas that could… turn others into omegas when the need for offspring was great. _Khehth_ , that’s what they were called, but as society progressed, efforts were made to program unions and stabilize birth rates. The _Khehth_ became, well, you could say they became obsolete. And they died out.” 

“We’re not on Krypton, now.” Alex says, surprisingly gentle. “Perhaps… Your alpha sensed a need.” 

Abruptly, Kara whips around to stare at Lena. She has a split second of warning to shut her eyes and regulate her breath - to simulate deep sleep. The weight of Kara’s gaze is tangible, despite the blanket pulled up to her chin, and underneath it, Lena’s skin prickles with heat. 

“The symptoms… that would mean…” 

“What would it mean, Kara?” Lena is sure Alex already knows the answer to all of this. Or, at the very least, has a solid inkling of what is going on. She must have preferred Kara get to her own conclusions, without influencing her mind 

“She’s in heat.” A weird expression crosses Kara’s face, a mix of hunger and guilt. “Lena’s in heat.” 

There’s a pause, and then her eyes brighten. “Wait… That’s good, actually!” 

Alex scoffs, and Kara’s ears turn a furious red. “I’m not- _stop it_.” She glowers hard enough to cremate Alex on the spot, no heat-vision needed. “Alex, I’m serious don’t do that. I’m not implying-” Kara rolls her eyes and shakes her head again. 

Implying what? Lena wants to know, and it’s an effort to remember she’s pretending she’s unconscious. 

“All I’m saying is you can make blockers for her, too. Just like you make mine so I don’t go into rut.” 

Rut? Making sure she isn’t seen, Lena mouths the word in silence. It coats her tongue with a forbidden aftertaste, and sends a spear of inexplicable warmth down to the crux of her thighs.

“I can’t.” Alex dashes Kara’s hopes before they have time to take root. “It’s like developing a vaccine, Kara. Takes time. And Lena is-” she gives an apologetic shrug. “Right now, judging from that test, Lena isn’t completely human anymore. But she’s not Kryptonian either. If I gave her something now, I could end up killing her.” 

“So…” Kara looks at the page in her hands, realizing she’s crumpled it into a mess, and ineffectually tries to smooth the creases against her chest. Her hands are shaking so badly she goes close to dropping it altogether. “So the only way to help her is-” Whatever else she means to say, she swallows back, and the blush spreads from her ears to the rest of her face. 

“So the only way to help me is _what_ , exactly?” 

******************

The pantomime had been worth it, if only to see the way both Kara and Alex jumped. Or so Lena had thought back at the D.E.O.

She has time to regret that, and the crazy proposition she’s agreed to, in the time it takes Kara to fly her to her house. 

On that part, they’d all been of the same mind; taking Lena back to her own penthouse would be dangerous with the bomber on the loose. And, with the building surrounded by police and a small army of private guards, there would be little chance for privacy. 

It’s the rest of the plan Lena’s struggling with. 

“Fine,” she’d said after Kara finished stuttering about them having sex. “I’ll do it.” 

Kara and her sister had stared at her in shocked surprise, as though she’d sprouted another, uglier head, and in truth, Lena had surprised herself as well. 

It had been the chance of things getting worse if she did nothing that convinced her - internally, she’d lied - whereas a night in bed with Kara is a… bearable thought. Something she’d wanted and hoped for, before Lex unraveled the web of lies on her behalf. 

Now, all Lena tries to focus on is riding the heat out. After, she’ll get the medical charts from Alex and develop a cure herself. Maybe this _thing_ is reversible, and if it isn’t, Kara seems to be doing just fine with her blockers. 

Lena can manage, too. 

Plus, she must admit, it feels a little like revenge. 

“This changes nothing,” she’d made sure to underline as they were making ready to depart the D.E.O. “We’re still not friends. And _definitely_ not lovers.”

Kara had said nothing in response. She’d simply scooped her up in strong, _muscular_ arms and spirited her off. Speaking of, it’s really hard to ignore the way Kara’s biceps flex and twitch against her during flight, but Lena gives it her best shot. 

She tells herself it’s heat and chemistry. None of this is real. Her attraction is synthetic, artificial. One quick fuck and she’ll be as good as new. 

The thought of Kara fucking her makes Lena moan, but the sound is snatched away before the Kryptonian can hear it. 

An inconsequential thing that won’t change her sucky night, but Lena will salvage what small victories she can. 

Unlike Lena’s apartment, Kara’s lacks a balcony, but perhaps because she also likes the tantalizing scent of late spring nights - wisteria in bloom, sprinkled with stardust - one window has been providentially left open. 

More likely it’s just happenstance - Lena chides herself - the same that made her leave work earlier than usual, and cheat death just one more time. 

Regardless of the motives, Kara maneuvers her inside the house with ease, setting her down on the couch like she’s made of the most fragile hand-blown glass. The delicate, airy kind one finds in Murano, fired and shaped inches away from the Adriatic Sea.

She feels fragile, too. At least, her heart does. A breath away from shattering again. 

Kara stands in front of her, looking as if she doesn’t know quite what to do. She keeps her distance, and holds Lena literally at arm’s length now that there’s no risk of dropping her, eyes glued to the geometric designs of the rug partially covering the floor. 

“So...uhm… did you really mean…” 

“Kara.” Lena tries to keep her voice from shaking. 

Maybe it’s the alpha’s close proximity, or the absence of strong, protective arms around her, but Lena is afraid. Not that she’ll admit it, especially not to Kara, but their obligated closeness while they flew here helped to calm her nerves. She can scarcely believe all this is happening, and is unsettled by the fact that science and cold logic are failing her. 

At least there’s the fact she feels a little better physically - even though Alex had called that a momentary plateau. A small relief, but Lena isn’t nearly out of the woods yet. 

She’s firmly lost in them, with Kara as her only company. 

The alpha refuses to meet her gaze, however, so Lena takes some extra moments to gather herself and looks around. Her living space and Kara’s couldn’t be any different. Hers is orderly, pristine. Everything has its proper, austere place, and Lena’s always liked the clean way that makes her penthouse look. 

Kara’s living room, on the other hand, is a cozy sum of small disasters. There’s abandoned cups from Noonan’s on the coffee table, next to a perilously unbalanced pile of books. Blu-Ray boxes are scattered at the foot of the TV, and none of the pillows crowded on the couch match in color or size. 

The contrast is, for Lena, an eye opener. 

The penthouse is just an evolved version of the sterile gilded cage she’s been living in since childhood. Her home is utterly performative, never truly lived in. Lena actively detached herself from it, the way she keeps apart from people, hoping that way to not get hurt.

It hadn’t, _hasn’t_ worked, but she’s not ready to tell any of this to Kara. 

“I agreed to it, didn’t I?” Kara’s head jerks up. The spectre of the hunger Lena had seen back in the lab haunts the blue depths of her eyes. “I’m here, Kara.” 

"Lena, I didn't mean for any of this to happen." Kara looks away again, and shuffles her feet apologetically. She's referring to the heat, but also to the lie she upheld for years. Lena believes that her regret is genuine, but it feels like much too little, far too late. 

"Kara, I can't talk about this right now. Just-" 

_Just fuck me_. Lena swallows hard, and between her legs, she quickens. 

Aloud she says, "Just- let's do what we came here to do."

Her cheeks are on fire, and as Kara takes a hesitant step forward, her heart lurches in her chest. 

“Are you sure?” The chivalrous, _absolute fool_ has the nerve to ask again.

“Yes!” Lena snaps, near jumping off the couch to take matters into her own hands. She has to dig her nails into her palms to keep herself from doing so, and relaxes back into the couch as much as she is able. 

Kara suggested this, she can do the work.

When it becomes clear that, left to her own devices, the alpha will just stare at her feet for the whole night, she has to mellow slightly. The sooner they get on with it, the sooner it will end.

“Kiss me, Kara,” Lena orders, basically biting off each word. She closes her eyes and tilts her face up toward Kara to accompany the command.

Her heart beats a panicky staccato in her chest, and her hands are cold with sweat. Most of her wants them to get this over with, but whatever has awoken in her blood fills her with delectable trepidation and no small amount of fear. It frets that Kara will come to her senses about them having sex - which, for the record, the sane part of Lena still thinks is a _terrible_ idea - and call the whole act off.

The room goes completely still, the silence so encompassing Lena starts to wonder whether her thoughts have come true, and Kara’s chickened out and left her hanging. Then, there’s a sharp inhale that seems to have no end, and a rush of misplaced air. After that, Kara is on her, much like in her dream.

The damp heat of Kara’s mouth spills into her own a moment later. Over her gasping lips, and on her chin. The alpha’s breath is different from what Lena expected - tasting vaguely of mint, and a bit raw underneath. At first, Lena tries to remain still - if she doesn’t participate she can pretend this is not happening for real. She can trick herself into thinking it’s a lucid dream, a hallucinated parallel reality in which letting Kara help this way doesn’t hurt like broken glass scraping her lungs. 

But then, Kara cups her face to bring her even closer, and Lena’s body answers with a sharpness that leaves her empty of breath. Whatever foreign chemicals have taken residence inside her blood ignite, and she’s turned into a wild, unruly creature of pure need that reason can’t control.

She kisses Kara back, months and months of repressed passions coming to the fore. There’s a frenzy to it all. A wrath. Lena doesn’t know who bites whose lip, but she tastes blood.

“Bedroom. Now,” she manages, when she is left gasping for air. Her entire body feels on fire, doused in burning gasoline. 

The relief on Kara’s face is palpable, and Lena is lifted, held to her broad chest as she moves to obey. 

She sags into it, clings to Kara’s shirt. Her body is like running wax that Kara’s every action is molding into shape. On the way to the bedroom, Kara kisses her again, taking control with a surety that stuns Lena into submission. This Kara is a far cry from the stuttering mess that could barely look at her in Alex’s presence. She is self-assured and wild in her own right, a savage thing. A thing of roaring beauty, she blazes cold and hot at the same time - like the stars outside. 

Lena can only let herself be kissed and watch as the paragon of hope darkens and burns, eyes shifting to the swirling ashen-grey of her dead planet. 

By the time she’s deposited gently on Kara’s unmade bed, she’s short of breath all over again.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” Unhurried, and without seeking permission, Kara starts undressing her. Fingers nimbly undo the mother-of-pearl buttons of Lena’s shirt, exposing her to the cool air of the room. 

She shivers under Kara’s touch, mouth too dry for words. She would not say no even if she could. The alpha climbs with her atop the bed and strokes a hand along the nape of Lena’s neck, eliciting more shivers. Her fingers twine into the soft, dark curls there. “For so very long, Lena.” 

A veil of tears descends over her eyes, obscuring Lena’s vision. She can’t abide to listen. 

“Shut up and fuck me already.” The ache between her legs yawns wider. “Just- _nnf_ -” Kara interrupts her with more furious nipping at her lips, and pushes her down - roughly - into the mattress. 

Hands slip into Lena’s hair, grasping fistfuls of dark strands to tip her head back into the bed and expose the column of her throat. The gesture, and Kara’s nails scratching her scalp, border on painful, but never truly cross the line, arousing Lena more instead. 

Puffs of warm breath skate along her throat, and teeth follow, scraping in a downward path to her exposed collarbone.

The world loses clarity after that. There’s the sound of ripping cloth - her blouse, her pants, her lingerie - and Lena positively gushes when her panties are torn to pieces.

When she can refocus, she is naked, and Kara is standing at the foot of the bed, breathing hard. 

“Beautiful,” she whispers, eyes roving Lena’s body without any restraint. “You’re beautiful, Lena.” 

She stares in quiet awe until her gaze scorches Lena’s skin. Until she wriggles and squirms under its weight, face reddened. Then, just as she’s about to tell Kara to get naked, too, the alpha slowly starts disrobing. 

Every article of clothing is deliberately discarded. A show Kara puts on for Lena’s benefit. Perhaps to torture her. _Look_ , her calloused hands seem to say as she pulls the pastel-colored sweater off, exposing abs that are laddered with muscle. _Look, what you’ve been missing out on._

Lena cannot say she disagrees.

When it comes to her pants and boxer briefs, there’s a stuttering. A pause. Kara’s hands tighten on the buckle of her belt and her hold is knuckle-white, but then she shakes herself out of the momentary stupor, and pulls everything down in one fluid motion.

 _Oh_. 

She is markedly more _equipped_ than Lena thought. 

“It’s partly why I never told you that I loved you,” Kara whispers, brittle-like. The wilderness in her has momentarily subsided. “I know this isn’t… typical… in humans.” 

Lena wants to tell her that it’s fine. That there’s nothing wrong with it. That this would have never been a deal breaker between the two of them, but lying was. 

She is speechless. Incapacitated. Eyes glued to Kara’s erect cock. 

It’s big, but not overwhelmingly so, and slightly curved, perfect to hit that one spot on Lena’s inner walls. The one that makes everything dizzy and light, and softens tiny details into fuzzy silhouettes. 

Her throat bobs up and down, but she can’t swallow. She can only stare, and feel her cunt clench spasmodically around nothing. 

In the end, she mutely lifts her arms, beckoning Kara forward, her mind consumed by need.

Clarity fleetingly returns as the mattress dips beneath her, and she flattens a hand to Kara’s heaving chest, freezing her in place. 

“Remember what we said.” 

“I know.” Kara gives a jerky, impatient nod. “This changes nothing. We’re not friends. Not lovers. I’m just helping you out.” A brief look of hurt is buried under lust. “Now let me fuck you.” 

“Yes,” Lena practically whines.

“Yes!” she says again when Kara leans forward and takes one perky nipple in her mouth, suckling, nibbling, biting until the flesh is stiff and red and raw between her teeth. 

“ _YES!_ ” Lena screams, when Kara’s hips cover her own, pinning her down, and the alpha’s erection bumps against her cunt, demanding and relentless.

“Fuck.” 

Never before in her life has Lena found cause to swear during sex. Before Kara, her lovers had been few, and carefully selected. People who it was safe to spend a night with, that wouldn’t grow attached. The flipside of the coin had been sheer boredom - and sometimes incompetence as well. What pleasure Lena hadn’t managed to wring out of others’ flesh, she’d procured for herself. 

But no toy, nor human lover can compare to what Kara is doing to her now. 

The alpha grinds into her cunt with purpose, the broad head of her cock ramming against Lena’s engorged clit over, and over, and -

“Fuck!” Lena moans, messy and lost and wholly gone. “Fuck!” she desperately cants her hips up, chasing the friction. 

It’s _so_ good. It wicks the air out of her lungs and she wants more. 

Kara seems very willing to provide. On one condition. 

“Beg me,” she huffs into her sweat-streaked hair, growling a little. Somehow knowing every thought that hurls through Lena’s heat-frenzied mind. “Beg me for it.” 

It looks like Lena’s not the only one thinking of revenge. 

“Please!” 

Normally one to make boardrooms full of older, stuffy men quake with the mere rise of an eyebrow, Lena is ashamed she’s giving in so easily. 

But Kara’s cock feels thick and _oh so hard_ against her swollen folds, and she recalls how delicious it had been inside of her, stretching her walls and filling her with come during her dream.

A knowing smirk spreads over the alpha’s lips, and she deliberately misses, but ruts against her clit again, unexpectedly sending her over the edge.

“Kara!” she screams again, dizzy from the pleasure of it all. Her body goes rigid against Kara’s, and there’s a warm gush between her legs. A heavy pulse of slick that bathes Kara’s throbbing length in its entirety.

She’s squirting - a small voice inside her skull pipes up, unhelpfully. She’s squirting all over Kara, and it’s puddling on the bed sheets. 

That has never happened to Lena before that she remembers, but her memory isn’t exactly in working order this very second.

And the alpha isn’t nearly done. 

Lena knows what’s coming, but when Kara lines their bodies up and pushes forward again, she’s wholly unprepared. 

Kara breaches her tight entrance without care or much finesse, but instead of being turned off by the flash of pain as her opening adjusts, Lena is turned on exponentially. She brings her legs up, aided by Kara’s grasping hands, and wraps them around the small of the alpha’s back, crossed at the ankles. 

With her hips at an upward slant, and Kara’s arms bracketing her waist, Lena is immediately aware of the difference in angles. Kara has only sunk mere inches inside her, but already her cunt aches with the broadness of her cock. Already she can feel the rubbing, rising pressure at her sweet spot, every time Kara’s hips pull back and then push forward, burying her deeper with each thrust.

She had not fully connected how much she needed this, but the overwhelming sense of fullness brings Lena immediate relief. Overheated skin cools down, and the hunger that had been gnawing at her spine, as famished as a pack of starving dogs, is finally satiated. 

Her body is made open and the process is, at once, both agony and bliss. Stars explode behind her eyelids, and sparks gather in her lungs until each breath is fire. Above her, Kara is transformed as well - a godlet to which Lena’s heaving, shaking body is paying homage to. 

The bedroom is filled with the wet slapping of their bodies, and the harshness of their ragged breaths. When Kara bottoms out, after an interminable, hard drive of her hips, Lena cries out again - hoarse and desert-mouthed. 

The rhythm had not been slow to begin with, but now the tempo builds and Lena feels the flesh of her hips begin to bruise. She relishes that, too, and basks in the rattle of the headboard against the wall. 

“God-” she chokes out, when Kara starts to pull her into each thrust seeking her own release. “Fuck-!” 

She’s dimly aware she sounds like a broken record, but she is past caring. 

“Give it to me. Fuck-yes, yes, Kara. Please.” Her second orgasm of the night is close enough Lena can taste it. Her fingers dig red lines on Kara’s back, and excited by the sting, the alpha drives into her even harder. 

The first, thick spurts of Kara’s come shock Lena into release. 

“Love you,” the alpha mumbles against her lips, forearms shaking with the effort of holding herself upright. “Love you, Lena.” She throws her head back, more come spilling from her and into Lena’s rippling cunt. “Love you so much.” 

Lena has no breath to answer, and, exhausted, Kara crumples onto her, face tucked into the crook of Lena’s neck.

They have precious moments of reprieve, but it’s not long before the fires of Lena’s heat come to renewed, raging life. 

Kara takes her again. On her back another time, then on all fours, Lena blushing with the obscenity of it, but pleading for a finger up her ass. At one point over the course of the night, she’s knotted, but her mind grows so blurry with the exquisite suffering of it, she can’t remember much. 

At some point, they both pass out, sexed-out and content.

It’s the grey non-light of predawn that wakes her. The bed is warm with the combined heat of their bodies, and Kara’s snoring softly next to her. She sleeps on her belly, Lena notes, and her face is adorably scrunched up, adrift in her dreams. 

Sitting up, she reaches out to push back the ropes of wheat-blonde hair that stick to Kara’s cheek, but then remembers her own words, and her hand drops to her lap. She starts peeking over the edge of the bed instead, scanning the floor for her cellphone. 

She’s pulling on the few of her clothes that are still wearable when Kara stirs awake and yawns. 

“What are you doing?” She blinks up owlishly at Lena, eyes cobwebbed by sleep. 

“I’m going back to my place,” Lena states, every instinct inside of her screaming for her to get back in bed. “Like I said, this-” she gestures vaguely to the twisted sheets, “changes nothing.” 

Kara visibly deflates, but when Lena stands to go, she doesn’t stop her.

As she’s pulling the front door shut behind her, Lena fancies she hears muffled sobs, wafting from the bedroom. Her heart clenches, but she ignores the stabbing pain, and silences her feelings. 

Grief, she learns later as the driver she called up while Kara was asleep takes her back home, is really just love. It’s what love one wants to give, but can’t. Eventually, the love will out. It constricts the throat, and leaks from the corner of the eye. It excavates one’s heart out, and breaks one’s chest apart until all that one can do is bleed from too much love. 

Grief, Lena learns in the solitude of her apartment while she attempts to drown herself with scotch, is just love with nowhere left to go.

******************

She comes to with a startled gasp late in the afternoon. The sun is entering the apartment at an angle, and blindingly bright into her eyes. 

Lena throws one arm up and groans, squinting against the light. 

The bottle of hard liquor still sits on the coffee table, accusingly empty. She can’t believe she drank it all. She can’t believe the soreness of her cunt either, the pleasing ache bolting up her spine when she begins to move. 

When she remembers they didn’t use any protection and that she’ll have to crawl back to Alex, begging for a morning after pill, all the scotch she drank the night before rises in a bitter tide and drowns Lena again. 

******************

Two weeks go by.

Two weeks during which Lena feels miserable. Two weeks of all-nighters in her office because she’s too unsettled to go home and sleep in a bed other than the one where Kara fucked her and made her feel so good. Complete and not alone. 

Two weeks that drag along like years, and as the days pass, her resolve crumbles.

That’s how she comes to hover by Kara’s apartment door one night, hands nervously wringing, bottom lip caught between her teeth. When Kara gets home, Lena reasons, she’ll send her away. She is well within her right to do so, after the way Lena has treated her, so she spends the precious little time she has before Kara gets home from the office to prepare herself for the inevitable rejection.

It’s what she deserves. 

By the time Kara rounds the corner, Lena’s heart is rushing in her ears. She barely registers Kara’s stunned expression, or the bag of take-out Chinese food, falling from fingers that have momentarily gone nerveless. 

“I shouldn’t have come,” she stammers, longing to push forward and slip her arms around Kara’s sturdy spine. Aching to rest her head under Kara’s chin and nuzzle the damp spot at the dip of her throat where the heart beats closest to the surface. Desperate to let Kara be the roof she shelters beneath, and afraid of what it means. 

“I should go,” she says, dumbly. “I’m sorry I’ve disturbed you, I never meant-” She tries a side-step around spilled _dàndànmiàn,_ and Kara moves with her, blocking her path.

“Lena, wait!” Her eyes are blue and soft and pleading. “Why did you come?” She raises a hand as if to touch her, but stops short, fingers flexing over empty air. 

“I-” 

Lena had practiced a speech, but words that had been clear-cut in her mind are a jumble on her tongue. They try to spill out all at once and she’s left gaping. Suffocating on lungs that are struggling to fill. 

“You’re in my blood,” she manages eventually. It’s an abridged version of the truth, at once too much and not enough to cover what she’s feeling. There are more things Lena wants to say, but most are better suited to being whispered in the dark. “I’ve grown used to being alone. Accepted it. But now you’re in my blood, and I don’t know how to deal with it.” 

She doesn’t see Kara step closer, but all of a sudden, strong arms are enfolding her, pulling her close.

Kara places gentle, perfect kisses on her furrowed brow, on the lines splitting her forehead, and then higher atop her head. Lena doesn’t know that she is sobbing - ugly, tortured sounds tearing her to shreds - until Kara’s lips trail down to her cheeks, to clean up the salt gathered there. 

“Maybe you don’t have to deal with it alone?” The phrase is murmured near her jaw, half a statement, half a question. “Maybe we can deal with it together.” 

Kara’s voice is very small. As small as Lena feels. All she can do is hang on to Kara’s frame, short-breathed and blindstruck, and let the sobs wreak havoc on her lungs until her eyes begin to sting from so much crying. 

Eventually the tears subside, and Kara tucks raven-colored flyaways behind her ears. 

“Well?” she whispers, barely an inch from Lena’s parted lips. “What do you think?” 

Lena is about to answer when Kara’s stomach rumbles loudly and takes the stage. 

On the floor, the piled of spilled food has stopped smelling delicious and started to grow cold.

“I think...” Unused muscles protest when the first smile in two weeks flickers across her lips. “I think we buy you another dinner and take it from there.”

**Author's Note:**

> join me[ on Tumblr](https://kendrene.tumblr.com/) for more gay nonsense!


End file.
